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CARLOS SALAS
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CHISTES

Post by CARLOS SALAS » 30 Jan 2004, 16:23

1. Dos físicos, y un matemático están haciendo un examen para un puesto de trabajo. La única pregunta es: ¿Cómo calcularía el volumen de una vaca?
Empieza el primer físico, le formulan la pregunta y le dicen que no se preocupe, que lo haga como quiera. Después de pensar un rato, dice:
- Arrojaría la vaca a una piscina y el volumen de agua desplazada por la vaca sería igual al volumen de ésta.
Le felicitan y hacen pasar al otro físico, le hacen la misma pregunta le vuelven a decir que lo haga como quiera. Piensa un rato y dice:
-Suponiendo que tengamos la masa de la vaca, la arrojaría desde lo alto de un edificio y mediante su peso y la aceleración de la gravedad, calcularía su volumen.
Sale el segundo físico y entra el matemático. Nuevamente hacen la pregunta y la indicación de que lo haga como quiera
- ¿Y realmente lo puedo hacer como yo quiera?
- Sí, hágalo como desee
- ¿Pero de verdad que como yo quiera?
- Sí hombre, como quiera, como usted desee
- Suponiendo una vaca esférica...
2. Dos vectores se encuentran y uno le dice al otro:
- ¿Tienes un momento?
3. ¿Cuántos lados tiene un círculo?
- Dos, el de dentro y el de fuera.
4. ¿Qué es un niño imaginario?
- Alguien con madre real y padre imaginario.
5. ¿Qué le dice la curva a la tangente?
- ¡No me toques!
6. - Me gustan los polinomios, pero solo hasta cierto grado.
7. . ¿Qué le dice un superconductor a otro?
- ¡que frío hace!, no resisto mas.
8. ¿Qué le dijo Albert Einstein a su esposa?
- Mi amor tú tienes el mejor físico del mundo.
9. ¿Saben por qué yo estudié química?
- Porque no tengo nada de físico. :lol:
Prof. Carlos Salas
Presidente de http://www.quimicayciencias.cjb.net

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uncachodeciencia
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jejejeje

Post by uncachodeciencia » 08 Feb 2004, 12:28

Me parto de la risa...menos mal que hay alguien colocando chistes..jejejeje.

Gracias por compartir esas risas!.

Visitante2
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Post by Visitante2 » 26 Feb 2004, 14:46

Physics Party:

· Everyone gravitated toward Newton, but he just kept moving around at a constant velocity and showed no reaction.
· Einstein thought it was a relatively good time.
· Coulomb got a real charge out of the whole thing.
· Cavendish wasn't invited, but he had the balls to show up anyway.
· Cauchy, being the mathematician, still managed to integrate well with everyone.
· Thompson enjoyed the plum pudding.
· Pauli came late, but was mostly excluded from things, so he split.
· Pascal was under too much pressure to enjoy himself.
· Ohm spent most of the time resisting Ampere's opinions on current events.
· Hamilton went to the buffet tables exactly once.
· Volta thought the social had a lot of potential.
· Hilbert was pretty spaced out for most of it.
· Heisenberg may or may not have been there.
· Feynman got from the door to the buffet table by taking every possible path
· The Curies were there and just glowed the whole time.
· van der Waals forced himeself to mingle.
· Wien radiated a colourful personality.
· Millikan dropped his Italian oil dressing.
· de Broglie mostly just stood in the corner and waved.
· Hollerith liked the hole idea.
· Stefan and Boltzman got into some hot debates.
· Everyone was attracted to Tesla's magnetic personality.
· Compton was a little scatter-brained at times.
· Bohr ate too much and got atomic ache.
· Watt turned out to be a powerful speaker.
· Hertz went back to the buffet table several times a minute.
· Faraday had quite a capacity for food.
· Oppenheimer got bombed.
· The microwave started radiating in the background when Penzias and Wilson showed up.
· After one bite Chandrasekhar reached his limit.
· Gamow left the party early with a big bang while Hoyle stayed late in a steady state.
· For Schrodinger this was more a wave function rather than a social function.
· Skorucak wanted to put everybody on his web site.
· Erdos was sad no epsilons were invited.
· Born thought the probability of enjoying himself was pretty high.
· Instead of coming through the front door Josephson tunnelled through.
· Groucho refused to attend any party that would invite him in the first place.
· Niccolò Tartaglia kept stammering throughout the evening.
· Pauling wanted to bond with everyone.
· Keynes was keen to question the marginal utility of this party.
· Shakespeare could not decide whether to be or not to be at the party.
· John Forbes Nash wanted to play a n-person zero sum game.
· Pavlov brought his dog; which promptly chased after Schrodinger's cat.
· Zeno of Elea came with two friends - Achilles and the tortoise.
· Bill Gates came to install windows.
· Bertrand Russell kept wondering if the cook only cooks for the guests, who cooks for the cook?
· Witten bought a present all tied up with superstrings.
· The food was beautifully laid out by Mendeleyev on the periodic table.
· Riemann hypothesised about who would arrive next; to which Newton retorted, ' hypotheses non fingo.'
· Chadwick was handing out neutrons free of charge.
· Everyone was amazed at Bell's inequality.
· Watson and Crick danced the Double Helix.
· While Fermat sang, 'Save the Last Theorem for me.'
· Maxwell's demon argued with Dawkin's friend, the selfish Gene.
· Russell and Whitehead insisted on checking the bill for completeness and consistency. Godel said it was incomplete and it can never be proved otherwise.
· Epimenides the Cretan announced that only non-Cretans spoke the truth.
· Rontgen saw through everybody.
· Descartes cogitated, 'I think I am drunk. Therefore I am at the party.'

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nesimo
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Post by nesimo » 09 Mar 2006, 14:04

http://groups.google.com/group/es.cienc ... 0e502c81c6

chistes y más chistes, a cual más malo... jejejeje
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